Monday night, 21 December
I’m laying in my tiny bunk, alone in the housing I think. A thunderstorm just began so I think people are probably waiting out the rain at the hotel. But I’m trying to enjoy the solitude, though it’s hard because it’s not really solitude when you know that at any moment, someone could walk in.
Today was a rough day. Not that anything particularly difficult happened; just that it was a bit of a slump.
Over the past few days, team cocina has grown by 2. There is Nacho (I think I mentioned him already) and Octavio. Unfortunately, the arrival of Octavio, who has a lot of experience, means my demotion. I think I’m officially just a prep cook now, which is totally fine and makes sense, but it’s a bit of a let down since I was actually plating things before, which was exciting. I totally respect the kitchen hierarchy and am down to be a prep cook, all I’m saying is that I feel a bit like a slightly deflated balloon.
I did get to spend the morning helping Gabi make gnocchi though, which was fun. Apparently, when a woman learns to make this gnocchi, it means that she is ready to get married. I am definitely not ready because my gnocchi are bien feo (aka really ugly). I also helped briefly with a few milenesas (breaded rib eye).
When the lunch rush started, I was basically forgotten in the back. (Again, this is fine, I’m just telling it like it is.) It was interesting to hear all the tickets coming in and organized chaos in the front of the kitchen. I kept to my parsley, garlic, and mint prep. Sometimes Maira’s area would be slow, and she would come kick it with me.
Around 4:30, once lunch stuff was finished, Sol told me that I just needed to keep doing prep until 6-7 then I could be done for the day since they didn’t need me for dinner. This would have been more useful yesterday when I got invited to go to Jose Ignacio by Ivan, but oh well. There was a ton to prep though, so I worked till about 8 before Sol told me stop.
This does lead me to a bit of conundrum. I want to make it known that I want to be in the kitchen and learn how to cook (especially with the fire and stoves), BUT I also want to respect that the high season is maybe not the time to be in the way, slowing people down.
Evidence for one side: Agustin told me that last year, there was a Mexican guy who came to learn some stuff, but got stuck doing a lot of prep. Gioconda told Agustin one day that she didn’t understand why he didn’t get his prep done faster so he could be in the kitchen. So you need to show that you want to be there.
Evidence for the other: In one of our meetings last week, when she and Francis were discussing how we are shorthanded, she was explaining that she had scheduled the other people to come later because that is when there is time to learn. And even just the two times that Gioconda has been in the kitchen helping cook, she has been super intense/seemingly stressed, which is not when you want to pepper people with questions. And everyone else’s english is very limited, which makes for even more of a nuisance when they are trying to get a lot done in a rush.
So… what to do, what to do? Feel free to leave your opinion.
Of course, the obvious answer would be to tell Sol that I want to learn whenever it is convenient, but I understand that now is not the time. However, my spanish isn’t good enough to convey the subtleties associated with that. My spanish doesn’t convey ANY subtleties.
Which leads me to another bummer factor I’ve been dwelling on: It is really hard to make meaningful connections when you can only express the most basic ideas. Actually, overall, I think I’m doing ok at this, but I just wish it could be better. When I’m one on one with someone, it’s a lot easier. But one on one isn’t a thing here. People here are super social all the time, and when everyone is together talking (fast and in slang), I am simply a silent observer, not a participant. I don’t mind this since it’s good to listen even though my comprehension is low, but it’s strange to feel alone surrounded by people.
I admit that I’ve given in a bit in the last couple days and talked more to Gonza (the other American, but who speaks Spanish, too) and Agustin, from team salon, who speaks the best English, just so I could feel a little more connected to someone.
I also miss California more than I care to admit for many different reasons. The produce (SERIOUSLY), my friends, the conveniences, having privacy… anyway, I won’t think about it too much.
Anyway, I have faith that today was just a slump, and things will get better.
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