February is the worst

So I gave up on posting for a while... because February happened.

I had told my friends in Garzon that I don't like February, even though it is my birth month. Bad things always happen to me in February. Gabi told me that it wouldn't happen this time, and I thought for un rato (a while) that he was right until...

I needed to leave Uruguay before the end of February because that was when my 3 month visa was up, so I decided to go to Buenos Aires in Argentina for a few days. Plus, Nacho decided to go those same days to Bs As to get his truck from his sister's house. So perfect, I had a travel companion.

Oh, right. The reason I chose these dates in mid February was because I was already going to be in Montevideo to see the Rolling Stones with a bunch of people from the restaurant. They all had to go back the next day for work, and Nacho and I would head to Bs As.

The Rolling Stones were really fun. I'm not a huge fan, but I know the hits, plus we listened to them a lot in the kitchen in the time leading up to the concert. Even though our group had tickets in different parts of the stadium, we all managed to get into the lawn area together. At the concert, Nacho let me get up on his shoulders which was awesome, since I could see everything from up there and almost nothing from the ground since I'm short. All in all, they put on a good show for being oldies! And people went wild for it. It was a big deal that they came to South America.

Anyway, Nacho and I hopped on the ferry to Bs As the next morning. We walked around the city a little bit that afternoon and then looked for my air bnb that I had booked because I needed a night totally alone and quiet. The next day I would meet back up with Nacho and stay with his family. Anyway, it was a lovely night solo. The apartment was in the micro center of the city on the 17th floor with a great view.

The next day Nacho and I planned to meet at the Japanese Gardens at 2 pm. I estimated it was about an hour walking, which I had no problem with. I was taking my time, enjoying the sights etc. Stopped at a park with this giant moving flower sculpture (not unlike the lotus that is near the asian art museum in SF). While I was there... my iphone was stolen. I don't want to get into the specifics since I've put it all behind me, but unfortunately the moral of the story is don't trust anyone in Bs As. Seriously. Later, Nacho and I went back, and he asked a guy who was selling sodas outside if he knew anything about people stealing things there, and the guy explained that yes, it happens often, with a team of two people who work together, though you only see one. Anyway, that's what happened.

This left me in a not great place mentally, since I was already super tired and cranky from working so much in Garzon. But I kept it together enough to get to the gardens. Plus, I knew that all in all, while it was an expensive loss, I was actually very lucky. Because in the very same pocket was my wallet, which he could have grabbed. And of course, I still had my passport. So it was just a material loss. (I just needed to keep repeating this.) But of course, I had to give myself a little time for self pity, too.

After we met back up, Nacho asked if I wanted to register it with the police. Of course the chances of this helping were almost zero, but we figured it couldn't hurt. Plus, I figured it would be an interesting experience to go to the police too. I have a copy of my statement, which maybe someday I'll be able to read. Then we headed to his sister's place, in the burbs of Bs As.

The next day was dedicated to getting his truck up and running and legal, and then the following day we drove back to Garzon.

When we got back Garzon, Euge (la bebota) told me that she had some bad news for me... my bed had broken. I eventually learned the full story, which was that my other roommate and one of the boys were using my bunk (or maybe the bunk above mine, not clear and didn't really want to know) for obvious reasons and it broke. I immediately was scared though because I had hidden my computer under my bed in my messenger bag. I pulled it out, and sure enough the screen of my poor macbook pro was cracked. However, it started up and seems to work fine. Occasionally the camera doesn't work, but everything essential works. Anyway, at that moment I almost lost it. I had to leave immediately and go walk alone so that I didn't take my frustration out on anyway. Obviously no one knew that my computer was there. I was more upset just because it felt like a violation of the tiny space that I called my own. But once again, I just had to remind myself that it was only a material thing.

It seemed like the world wanted to cut off my communications and once again teach me that I can't always have control over everything. So I gave myself a break from posting anything (and then just got lazy) and talking with as many people back home. Tried to be more present. Maybe I was, maybe I wasn't.

But February did end well. Nacho and Gabi had a little surprise party for me at midnight on the 28th when it turned to the 29th and made me an awesome chocolate cake. It was very sweet. And on the 29th, I got the f out of Garzon for 2 nights. Stayed at a cute hotel in Jose Ignacio, which is only 40 minutes away, and it was a little expensive since I had to taxi to and from Garzon, but for me, worth it. Plus, leap year only happens every four years, and me being in Uruguay for leap year is even more rare.

Finding a rhythm

So I guess I don't have as much to say now since it’s been a while. Things have settled into a rhythm, more or less. I’ve had the same hours for the last few weeks, which are the best. I have the best schedule of anyone. I come in at 4 pm and work until close, generally midnight. Sometimes we have to stay late for deep cleanings or a late table. Occasionally we get out early if no one is in the restaurant.

I think I’ve been given the best hours because I’m me: not a cook and don’t have the vigor of the South Americans. Who knows. I thought about questioning it, trying to make my hours more like everyone else’s just to be fair… But no. I’m not going to. Let’s just be real. I like getting a decent amount of sleep, which isn’t a priority for anyone else. I like quiet time, which most people here would rather be together all the time. And I’m not a cook, it’s not what I want to spend all day doing (in a restaurant, that is). Also generally, dinner is slower, so it makes sense to have Lorenzo working entradas for lunch since he has cooking experience.

But it is kinda cool that I have a plaza, a station, in the cocina now. I think Sol trusts me to do a good job. Sol is a tough cookie, but she likes me. Gioconda is just always worried about every plate going out, and I think my lack of professional experience stresses her out a little, but I must be doing ok if I’m still here. Gabi is tired of working his plaza, the “piano” or the wood burning stove top and has asked me if I want to switch. I’d be interested to learn his plaza, but it is a lot busier since it is main courses. Sol also told me that in March, I could learn the fuegos or the grill. We will see!

With my days, I generally sleep in, because after work, we all stay up for at least a couple hours. Seriously, I don’t understand how everyone else functions since most people start at 9 or 10. (They do all drink coffee and smoke cigarettes, which probably helps. But I would rather have a long, healthy life.) Then I try to run or do yoga, depending on how hot and humid it is. I also go to one of the 2 convenience stores in town to buy a little something to snack on and to be friendly. Today I went to one of the other restaurants in town, the tiny hole in the wall one, since I skipped employee lunch today. I like supporting the town and doing something a little different.

Anyway, Carnaval ends tomorrow. It was supposed to be super busy for Carnaval which is why I thought it was next week since this week has been like any other. Although today for the lunch shift they expect 40 people, which is a lot for here. Glad I’m not working it. I know I could do more tables, busier times, but I like low stress. I like having time to make sure things come out right the first time since I feel like I have something to prove. Although of course, I could want to prove that I can do a busy despacho (service, lunch or dinner) but…

Last week we all got a day off together, which was really nice. I had a brief check in with Francis last Monday, and I told him that he has a really great team here that is working harder than any group of people I’ve seen and that everyone would benefit from a day off. And it happened! We all went to Jose Ignacio for the day, hung out on the beach, and most of us stayed and ate dinner family style at La Huella, the really good restaurant there, where we got a good discount, too.

Then it was no days off for anyone for the last week. In retrospect, I understand now: because it was Carnaval, and they must have expected it to be busier. But after tomorrow, we go back to having rotating days off (I think). Now that I’m starting to understand the buses a little better, I can’t wait to see some other beaches.

Anyway, it’s crazy that I’ve been here for over 2 months. An eternity or one long day?

Yo voy a matar conejos!

(I wrote this a few days ago.)

Yesterday I borrowed Seleña’s bici to see if I could find la granja de Megan. We all met Megan at the beginning of the season. She’s an expat who farms just outside of Garzon. We buy a few things from her. (Not enough in my opinion but farm to table isn’t really a concept people understand here. The fleeting seasonality of small scale farming has not been embraced by the restaurant business here.) When we met her, both Gonza and I expressed interest in learning to slaughter rabbits with her. She does it every Friday morning.

She usually comes by the restaurant with some produce once a week, so last week, I asked her how to get to her farm. The week before I tried a different road out of town while going for a run to see if I could just happen upon it. I ran for an hour before turning around. Needless to say, I did not find it. But I did run for two hours which I have never done in my life. But she gave me some directions that sounded easy, so I was pretty sure I could do it this time.

The only part that tricked me was that she didn’t say explicitly that I had to walk across the stream by the bridge. I remember her saying once that she can’t go on the shortcut when there is rain, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you have to go through a stream since roads flood, too.

Anyway, I found my way there yesterday, and we chatted for a while. She is a talker! But I learned more about her farm, how she got here, what last season at the restaurant was like, muchas cosas. And I asked her if her offer to come by for a slaughter session was still open, and she said of course. Also, whenever I wanted a place to escape to, her porch was always open to me. 

So this morning I headed out at 6:30 AM to get there by 7. I borrowed Sele’s bike again, which was funny because she’s a vegetarian and was slightly appalled by what I was asking to use her bike for, but she understood and I think appreciated that I wanted to kill what I was eating myself.

I got there, and as life on a farm goes, the schedule had changed and they wouldn’t start slaughtering for a while longer. So I helped Megan harvest some kale and chatted some more.

Then the boys were back, so it was slaughter time. I didn’t kill the first one I processed. Ruben killed it, and then Megan showed me how to make all the cuts skin it and take it apart. Then I got to kill one and do it again.

It was remarkably easy to kill it. Obviously for everyone else it wasn’t a big deal at all, so I wanted to be nonchalant as well. My main worry was that I wouldn’t kill it instantly and it would be in pain, but this was a non-issue. It is very easy to kill a rabbit. Instant, no fear or stress. I actually couldn’t believe that I had just killed something because I didn’t feel any different. I felt good that I had learned something useful and proud that I had finally gone through with this idea, but I didn’t feel anything about the actual act of killing it. Obviously I’m grateful to the animal, but I wasn’t going to get weepy or anything.

Afterwards, I helped prep the hides from the rabbits we had just slaughtered. Then Megan gave me four pelts that had been partially treated and just need to be stretched out more. A few hours of fun work ahead of me!

I got to take 4 conejos with me to make staff dinner with. Sol helped me with breaking down the rabbits and cooking them. It wasn’t the greatest dinner, I’ll admit, since we were pressed for time, but it was good. And definitely healthy meat, which is always a plus.

All in all, a very successful day.

Un dia franco

So last week I had my first day off in over a month. Holy. shit. Never has a day tasted so sweet.

Gabi had the same day off, so we made a plan to go to Jose Ignacio since... well, it's just what people do at first. I don't think it's actually the closest interesting place, but it is the closest beach. It's definitely not the easiest to get to.

We didn't have a secure plan for how to get there. There is one bus one of Garzon a day at 9 am that goes to San Carlos, but you get can off before then. From there, you go "a dedo" or hitch hiking for the last 15 or so kilometers to Jose Ignacio. Cars are super expensive in Uruguay so not many people have them. Only a couple people here.

Well, Gabi is not a morning person, at least not here. I tried to hurry him along in the morning since I was desperate to get the f out of here. I waited at the bus stop (it's like 2 blocks from the house) until the bus came, asked if they would wait a minute, then ran back to the house to get Gabi. Alas, as we turned the corner, we saw the bus driving away. I dropped all my things with Gabi and took off running, but I didn't stand a chance. Nothing happens on time here except that bus apparently.

But a nice lady, the owner of one of the other restaurants here El Molino saw us and stopped. She gave us a lift to the highway, passing the bus, so we could catch it there. Then we hopped on the bus for a bit, then got off at the road to Jose Ignacio. We got lucky and got a ride from the second car that came by. It was two older men going in for work. I think they were plumbers or something like that. Gabi makes conversation.

We got off at Ancap, the gas station with some stores next door. We bought some water and snacks, then got breakfast at the panaderia. Cappuccinos and pastries. Really good pan de chocolate. It has become the pastry I'm known for here.

Then we crossed the road, walked through the brush, and arrived at the lovely beach. It isn't white sand, but it's nice. The beaches are super clean too. It was a sunny day and the water is warming up, so swimming is nice. For me, the waves are a bit too big, but I got in for a bit. Spent some time reading in the sun.

Then we got lunch at a restaurant called Popei... that's Pop-eye, as in the cartoon. I don't know how or why that came to pass, but there it is. It was good, normal. Through my smoothie was very refreshing. Then we walked around for a a bit. There's really not much going on in Jose Ignacio, but it's better than Garzon.

Jose Ignacio is on a point, so you can walk across it really easily and be on the other beach. We decided to go up in the faro, or lighthouse. It was a cute little excursion and less than a dollar to go up.

Then we went back to the beach. We stopped at had a couple drinks at La Huella, the big name restaurant in Jose Ignacio. Gabi had a caipirinha, which was definitely the best one we had. It's a brazilian drink. More on the bitter side, which is often a safer bet because sweet things can be too sweet here.

Then we were on a mission to figure out how we were getting back to Garzon. The return bus wasn't an option any more (and it was never in our plan since it leaves San Carlos at 5). We had to hunt for wifi, but eventually got in touch with people in Garzon and found out a few people were coming into Jose Ignacio. We met up with them, met their other cook friend at another restaurant. Then we realized we were all hungry and got delicious burritos at Santa Teresita.

Freedom. That wonderful thing my country was founded on. It's amazing.

Gracias a dios

The high season is over. Thank you, baby jesus.

I have no sense of time here. This week I had my first day off in almost 5 weeks. And days are still long. While it is of course true that young people are attracted to what Francis Mallmann has to offer, I have also decided that it is only young people who can keep up with this schedule. (There are, of course, a few people older than me, but like I said, it's mostly 22-24 year olds.) I am so beat down.

I don't even know how long the high season really was. Was it really only one terrible week? I have no idea. I feel like an astronaut floating in space most of the time. It's as if I can see earth, it's familiar, but so different from this perspective. Things are the same, but very different. And at any point, your safety line might break and you will be totally lost, and for me, that fear is always there, a little. Fear of messing up badly in the kitchen, fear of not understanding, fear of being a bother to people. And of course, the lack of sleep makes everything harder.

I didn't actually work in the kitchen for that crazy week. Everyone was so stressed that there was no time to explain things to someone like me. It was difficult enough to keep things together with all the trained cooks. I spent a lot of time in the back of the kitchen processing herbs and greens and such. For me this was fine, though a bit boring. And also it was awkward to feel so expendable when everyone else was so stressed out. If I could communicate better, I could have been so much more useful. I spent a lot of time struggling with this feeling. No one else seemed to really think this though or hold it against me, but it was difficult for me.

The disorder of south america definitely got to Gonza (the other American) and I during this time. We had a few moments of 'what the hell are we doing here? America is the greatest country on earth' in the walk-in refrigerator.

But man, that week. I'm still feeling it, but my dia franco (day off) helped enormously. I was feeling a break down coming on. We barely ate or slept that week. I can only speak for the kitchen team, but I would come in around 8. There wasn't really any food to speak of except bread in Barrales, so I would sometimes have a couple pieces or an apple once I got to the kitchen. Then we worked. The rest of the team was so overloaded that even though it is part of our job to make lunch and dinner for everyone, they rarely had time to eat it. I could have walked away from what I was doing, but I felt guilty if I did (sometimes). Therefore, I usually didn't have lunch either. Actually though, I made it a point to have one good meal a day. Either make time for lunch or dinner, but rarely both that week.

And lack of sleep. Even though I got off earlier than the rest of the crew who were working the dinner, it was hard to go to sleep early. Like I said before, I wanted to spend time with people NOT working, which meant waiting up. And also my room... it is directly off of the kitchen, which is the entrance to Barrarles. So everyone walks through at different times since different areas of the hotel work different hours. AND our door doesn't have a latching mechanism (except a lock thing that we can't use because then whoever is out couldn't get in) so it swings open unless something is propped against it. And people mostly hang out in the kitchen next to our room or in the covered area right outside our room. It's a good thing I'm skilled at sleeping through almost anything, at least once I fall asleep.

Maira and I obviously did not have the time or energy to work out. Which eventually caught up to me. I was having a terrible day, though I couldn't say why. Maybe my worst, even though nothing bad in particular happened. But I had all this negative energy being twisted into a knot in my chest. That night though, Mai and I got off at like 8 or so. She asked if I wanted to go for a run, and I was so relieved. I had realized that being inside all the time and not working out was not helping my sanity. That night I ran about 5 miles and felt so much better.


Everyone was having a hard time. Some people never complained, some made it clear they were very unhappy, and others were in between. But everyone was feeling it. I have never seen a group of people more tired and stressed out.

Anyway, it's over. A lot of the crew leaves on Sunday. It will be nice to have less people in Barrales and a more chill environment, but it also means that Maira and Fiona are leaving me. I have gotten a little closer with more of the guys, but obviously it's different with your girl friends. I'm very bummed about this, but also happy for them. They need to go for their sanity. I'm questioning mine, obviously. I had initially thought I would stay for the whole season, but it really depends on how things change. Will the decrease in personnel make me more stressed or make for more opportunities to learn? How will the hours be divided? And days off?? I can never figure this place out. Even when there are answers to these questions, they generally change immediately or never follow through.

For example: Gonza's girlfriend sent him a package from New York a week or so ago. He leaves Uruguay February 5 or so. We can't get mail here, so he had it sent to a friend of the manager in Montevideo, and it will somehow get from Montevideo to here. I bet him a bottle of wine that it won't make it here before he leaves. I'm sure it will make it to Montevide, but it's the second part... Pretty sure I'm going to win that bet. But I would actually love to be wrong. We shall see.

Anyway, this was a bit of a downer, but like I said, I'm feeling better after my day off. This was just a reflection of one of the hardest times I have ever been through. It has been darker than that desolate winter in North Bend during AmeriCorps, but not as dark as that winter in Portland that crushed my soul. I'll write something up on my day off soon. It was lovely. Ciao!

The dark days of summer

So we have entered full swing. I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep since before New Years, and generally work about 14-15 hours a day. I’m not in the kitchen anymore during lunch or dinner service, so I don’t have that pressure, but I also don’t have that adrenaline rush to keep me going. 

Some days are very tedious. Yesterday I spent hours and hours working on almonds. I guarantee you take for granted sliced and toasted almonds. I had to blanche, peel, and cut hundreds. Hundreds. Ugh. I got my first blister from holding a knife for so long.

I mostly do prep work now. Lots of picking the leaves from parsley, basil, cilantro, thyme, mint, and oregano and some other things like making bread crumbs. But the things I know how to make from start to finish are the eggplant dip for appetizer, milanesas, ñoquis, gazpacho, and zucchini salad. I don’t know anything from the fire station where Diego and Gonza work. I only know the milas and gnocchi since Gabi was without a partner for so long, and I think he was hoping I might be able to fill it if he could teach me enough.

However, we got another addition to the team yesterday too: Lorenzo from Rome. He’s a friend of Sol and 22. Jesus, everyone is young here. But he speaks nearly perfect english because he spent some of his childhood in Singapore and went to an international school. His parents own a used bookstore in Rome now, which is pretty cool. He is to be Gabi’s compañero at the “piano” station. Gabi doesn’t know why it’s called the piano, but it’s the wood burning stove tops. Gabi is very happy to finally have real help. (I was only sort of helpful since I’m not a cook and I don’t think Sol felt comfortable putting me in a place of much more responsibility.) He has been the only station without a partner, and it’s a station that requires a lot of prep.

Today I left after only 12.5 hours of work though! Hot damn. I always work the early shift since I’m not a cook and not needed for dinner, generally about 8 AM to 10 PM. I think this will lessen now that we have another compañero though. But it’s better than working the dinner shift. They get a couple hours off after the lunch shift and then have to come back, which would definitely annoy me.

A couple days ago Mai also had dinner shift off so we went to a little hole in the wall place that she knows from last year and had shared a bottle of wine. I also look forward to when Gabi has time off because he is hands down the best person to talk with. He corrects my spanish and never gets frustrated with my constant ‘no entiendo.’ 

I would love to go to sleep early, but on the other hand, it’s still important that I spend time with people, solidifying friendships, so I usually stay awake until the dinner shift is off, which is unfortunately after midnight. 

Which why I’m back at the hotel restaurant now with my friends.

A day in the huerta

A day in the huerta

Last night I was talking with Adrian (Flaco) during dinner, when he arrived back in Garzón with a bunch of plant starts (plantitas). He told me that Gioconda had said I could work with him in the morning, doing planty things. I was surprised since I had heard none of this (naturally), but was pleased with the idea of doing something I understand for a change.

I had had a frustrating day. The worst part was that during the dinner prep shift, which only a few people work, one of my tasks was making the 5 minute eggs for Mai and Gabi’s stations. I was fairly sure in the directions that Maira had given me for how to make them. But when I went into the pasteleria to start boiling the water on the hot pad/induction thingy, Nacho (Nacho 3 or Nacho Pastel, not sure which nickname I’m going to use) told me that you always do it a different way. So even though I was pretty sure what he told me wasn’t what Maira told me, I defaulted to his knowledge. Wrong-o! When Gabi came in to check some things, he looked at the 30 eggs, which I had already peeled, and told us they were overcooked. He reiterated that it should be done the way Maira had said, and so I did it all again. Yippee. No one was angry or upset at all, except me with myself. It was also frustrating because it put me way behind on the rest of my prep, so when the team did show up, I felt like it looked like I had done nothing. 

I was bumming hard at dinner and waited until most people had eaten to go outside. I found a less obvious place to sit and eat. Fiona came out with some desserts, one of which was extra chocolate ice cream that she said was only for me <3 .="" aria-haspopup="true" class="goog-spellcheck-word" id=":z.11" role="menuitem" span="" style="background: yellow;" tabindex="-1">nbsp

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Anyway, being outside on working in the dirt felt good today. I got to finally plant up the garden boxes that Nacho and I made. They are really just as aesthetic thing, but still nice. I planted them full of herbs and tomatoes, everything super close so that it looks lush, but of course you wouldn’t actually do if you were trying to cultivate things properly. 

Then I transplanted more herbs into pots to be put in the restaurant and outside. Gioconda likes to rotate the plants around the restaurant, so they have time inside where guests can admire them, but also time outside where they can get sun. 

In the afternoon, Flaco and I transplanted a ton of oregano around a tree in the backyard of Francis’s new (remodeled) house just down the street from the hotel. Flaco is great. Like Nacho 1 (the hippie) and Gabi, he is really good at talking to me in spanish that I can understand. He is really friendly and feels trustworthy. He is also Francis’s main gardener at his house in the sierras. 

Our conversations really illuminate how different life is here than in the States. For him, and many people, being happy while you do a job is more important than doing a job efficiently. (The way we were transplanting things was very uruguayo aka inefficient.) I tell him this is not true in the States, but that I think he is right. I also tell him how part of the reason I’ve come here is to learn how to live more free, like him and Francis. He likes this and laughs.

But as for me, I don’t understand why you would do something that will just cause you more work in the future because you don’t have the right tools or a concrete plan. He just tells me it’s like a magic trick: you don’t know how it works, but it does.

Cocinando con Gabi

It’s Christmas, but it doesn’t feel like it. Everyone was up far too late and/or drank too much last night, so the morning was rough.

But it was a good party. I “talked” more with people, and am feeling more comfortable in my interactions with the ones I’m not as close with. The people I am most close with, aka the ladies, I had a good time with. Dancing with Euge, lots of hugs and drunken earnest confessions of friendship from Mai. It was sweet.

Today I was stoked to make some more ñoquis. Unfortunately, I messed them up. The dough (masa) was too soft (blando), and I could barely roll it out. Gabi tried to help, but eventually we just said ‘ciao’ to most of the dough. If I understood correctly, I used too much egg and not enough cheese. Won’t make that mistake again! It was so frustrating. However, the little bit I managed to shape cooked up alright, so not a complete loss.

After lunch, Sol asked me to make a slaw for dinner tonight, and when I finished, I could come into the kitchen. I think I’m officially now Gabi’s prep person. I helped him assemble his three plates for the few orders we had for lunch. Gabi is in charge of the ñoquis, the milanesas, and the merluza negra (fish). 

It feels like a lot to remember, but at the same time, it’s not really. It’s more that I’m just so nervous about messing something up. And getting instructions in another language obviously makes it harder. There was a lot less pressure in assembling salads than in cooking meat and pasta. I know I’ll have to resign myself to messing something up badly again in order to learn.

Gabi is ridiculously patient with me, if I haven’t stressed that enough. He stays on my case to keep a cloth rag and tongs on hand at all times for touching things safely around the stove, always asks if I understand, and makes me try doing it myself before I feel ready. I don’t think he has the ability to get angry.

Oh, I haven’t mentioned this yet, but I finally saw the menu. The prices are astronomical. Like insane. I could not believe it. For the meat, ok yes, understandable, but for the veggie entradas (gazpacho will run you more than $40) …….. well, I won’t say anymore. I will make them for you, friends.

Not sure how busy tonight will be, but tomorrow, the insanity starts. I’m scared, especially if I’m going to help cook main dishes. I’m definitely not typical chef material. I like to do things slowly, purposefully. I haven’t quite gotten into the ‘sense of urgency’ stride that is needed in the kitchen. But it’s adapt or die here!

And now it’s siesta time before dinner shift.

---

Just a quick check in after dinner. I did some appetizer prep with Gabi at the beginning of the dinner shift, making an eggplant (berengena) dip and watching Gabi make a roasted beet (remolacha) dip/sauce/thing. He helped me with these things so that I could get them done faster and be in the kitchen with everyone. So I was on point to help him with the main courses during dinner service. It’s definitely higher stakes than I would like, but obviously I’m not going to say no to anything they throw at me.

Nacho Pastel has started calling it the “Cocinando con Gabi” show (Cooking with Gabi) since he explains everything very simply to the noob that is me. Gabi also doesn’t let me look at my notes. He wants me to just do it and ask questions, which is probably the best, but against my cautious nature. 

The team is very very encouraging, always complementing what I do well, and understanding that they know I can do better when I do mess up. I told Gabi today that I thought it takes a special type of person to be a chef, and mimed rapid cutting and exactness. He told me he was a disaster when he first started, but that a chef just needs to be clean, fast, and organized. I told him that I am none of those things!

Tomorrow, Maira and I recommit to our more exercise and less alcohol plan!

Feliz navidad

So it’s the night before Christmas, and I’m sitting in Casa Barrales, trying to talk with Euge as she gets ready for the fiesta. She always talks super fast and with a lot of slang, but has a decent amount of patience with me aka laughs a lot. She is not, however, really not good at explaining words. Often this happens:

Euge: blah blah blah pavo!

Me: Que es pavo?

Euge: Pavo? Pavo! Pavo es pavo! Pavo! hahaha!

But she’s funny and good hearted. Really, everyone here is. I like everyone.

I’ve been helping more with prep for Gabi now, which has meant milanesas (breaded steaks) and ñoqui (gnocci). I really like doing the ñoquis. I did this mornings batch by myself (but with Gabi beside me, directing me). Then I was in the late crew that stayed to prep for dinner but wouldn’t stay to work it, and I made the ñoqui all by myself. It turned out pretty good except they needed more salt. I’m discovering my method of rolling out the dough evenly without overworking it.

One of my main challenges is that I’m still slow at a lot of things. I know I’ll get faster as I do it more, but I think occasionally Sol get exasperated, in a nice way though. Like tonight with my ñoqui: I hadn’t finished by the time the Mai and Diego had finished their prep. When Gabi came back for his dinner shift, he said I could go, but I insisted on finishing my work, which he appreciated. I think Sol respected that, but kept reminding me that I needed to leave

Ah, the sound of fuegos artificiales! I guess fireworks are a thing for Christmas here. 

Gabi is probably my favorite guy to talk with now. When it’s just the two of us, he is good at speaking slowly and clearly. He also is good at keeping the concepts simple so I can understand, but occasionally throwing in an idea that is more difficult, and then we have to ask someone else to help us. Fiona is always a good person for this. 

The Mendoza crew really loves Gabi. They have all told me that he has a very good heart, more than most. He is so much like a puppy. He runs around really fast from place to place in the kitchen, with a slightly frantic but positive energy, and when he forgets something he needs for his task, he will say, exasperated with himself, “que boludo!” (I don’t have a grasp on this word yet. Sometimes it’s an insult, sometimes its a term of endearment.) When he’s not working directly on a task (e.g. cutting something) and is just moving around the cocina, he moves in a floppy way that is like a puppy whose body is growing too fast. 

We actually had a decent conversation today about food and travel. He spent last navidad in Thailand, where he lived for a year (I think) because his dad was working there. He liked it, but didn’t really like the food much. I think this is largely because he has a shellfish allergy, which definitely would dampen my spirits in southeast Asia, as it greatly limits what you can eat. He told me he ate sandwiches from Seven Eleven every day, and I laughed and told him that’s terrible because as a chef, he should eat better.

Mai and I have gotten a lot closer too. A benefit of Octavio replacing me is that Mai misses having me help her, so she’s more affectionate with me. Plus he try to work out every day together. (This does not happen in reality.)

Last night, a car full of us went to Jose Ignacio and had dinner at La Huella, one of the best restaurants in Uruguay, so they say. I believe it. It is super tasty, and they do some nice things with vegetables and seafood, which is refreshing for me. This meant that we got back super late though. And the night before we socialized too, so I am reaching my limit today. I need a recharge.

I was really hoping that the navidad party was going to be in the hotel tonight after it closed, but I think it’s just here at Barrales. Our room is just off the kitchen, which is a hot spot for hanging out. Also, really annoyingly, our door doesn’t have a mechanism for staying shut, so it’s always swinging open from wind or animal. I want to socialize, but only to a certain extent tonight. Maira feels the same. I think the party will stay mostly outside around the fire though.

Outside, they have started roasting a lamb, crucifix style, perhaps a subtle homage to Jesus. 

Merry Christmas from another world!

Feeling a bit blue

Monday night, 21 December

I’m laying in my tiny bunk, alone in the housing I think. A thunderstorm just began so I think people are probably waiting out the rain at the hotel. But I’m trying to enjoy the solitude, though it’s hard because it’s not really solitude when you know that at any moment, someone could walk in. 

Today was a rough day. Not that anything particularly difficult happened; just that it was a bit of a slump.

Over the past few days, team cocina has grown by 2. There is Nacho (I think I mentioned him already) and Octavio. Unfortunately, the arrival of Octavio, who has a lot of experience, means my demotion. I think I’m officially just a prep cook now, which is totally fine and makes sense, but it’s a bit of a let down since I was actually plating things before, which was exciting. I totally respect the kitchen hierarchy and am down to be a prep cook, all I’m saying is that I feel a bit like a slightly deflated balloon.

I did get to spend the morning helping Gabi make gnocchi though, which was fun. Apparently, when a woman learns to make this gnocchi, it means that she is ready to get married. I am definitely not ready because my gnocchi are bien feo (aka really ugly). I also helped briefly with a few milenesas (breaded rib eye). 

When the lunch rush started, I was basically forgotten in the back. (Again, this is fine, I’m just telling it like it is.) It was interesting to hear all the tickets coming in and organized chaos in the front of the kitchen. I kept to my parsley, garlic, and mint prep. Sometimes Maira’s area would be slow, and she would come kick it with me.

Around 4:30, once lunch stuff was finished, Sol told me that I just needed to keep doing prep until 6-7 then I could be done for the day since they didn’t need me for dinner. This would have been more useful yesterday when I got invited to go to Jose Ignacio by Ivan, but oh well. There was a ton to prep though, so I worked till about 8 before Sol told me stop.

This does lead me to a bit of conundrum. I want to make it known that I want to be in the kitchen and learn how to cook (especially with the fire and stoves), BUT I also want to respect that the high season is maybe not the time to be in the way, slowing people down. 

Evidence for one side: Agustin told me that last year, there was a Mexican guy who came to learn some stuff, but got stuck doing a lot of prep. Gioconda told Agustin one day that she didn’t understand why he didn’t get his prep done faster so he could be in the kitchen. So you need to show that you want to be there.

Evidence for the other: In one of our meetings last week, when she and Francis were discussing how we are shorthanded, she was explaining that she had scheduled the other people to come later because that is when there is time to learn. And even just the two times that Gioconda has been in the kitchen helping cook, she has been super intense/seemingly stressed, which is not when you want to pepper people with questions. And everyone else’s english is very limited, which makes for even more of a nuisance when they are trying to get a lot done in a rush.

So… what to do, what to do? Feel free to leave your opinion.

Of course, the obvious answer would be to tell Sol that I want to learn whenever it is convenient, but I understand that now is not the time. However, my spanish isn’t good enough to convey the subtleties associated with that. My spanish doesn’t convey ANY subtleties. 

Which leads me to another bummer factor I’ve been dwelling on: It is really hard to make meaningful connections when you can only express the most basic ideas. Actually, overall, I think I’m doing ok at this, but I just wish it could be better. When I’m one on one with someone, it’s a lot easier. But one on one isn’t a thing here. People here are super social all the time, and when everyone is together talking (fast and in slang), I am simply a silent observer, not a participant. I don’t mind this since it’s good to listen even though my comprehension is low, but it’s strange to feel alone surrounded by people.

I admit that I’ve given in a bit in the last couple days and talked more to Gonza (the other American, but who speaks Spanish, too) and Agustin, from team salon, who speaks the best English, just so I could feel a little more connected to someone. 

I also miss California more than I care to admit for many different reasons. The produce (SERIOUSLY), my friends, the conveniences, having privacy… anyway, I won’t think about it too much. 

Also, it's like Star Wars doesn't exist here.

Anyway, I have faith that today was just a slump, and things will get better.